Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Latest News

President Obama's enjoying himself. He's having his vacation in Martha's Vineyard all week. So far — this is what the news says — so far, he's played tennis, golf; he's gone swimming. Now it's rumored he may play a game of bocce ball. It's true. In other words, America is still waiting for its first black president...

"The latest rumor is that President Obama is going to have dinner on Martha's Vineyard with Oprah Winfrey. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. The most powerful person in the free world is going to have dinner with President Obama."

-- Conan O'Brien, The Tonight Show

"The Obama family is taking a vacation up there in Martha's Vineyard, it is a good time for the president to take a vacation, I think. I mean, everything is fixed, right? ...And they are talking about Obama may play a round of golf with Tiger Woods. That is a little different than President Clinton on vacation, he just liked to play around...

"Did you see the picture of Barack Obama out bicycling with the kids? He's not wearing a helmet... I believe the President is the most prominent Democrat to go without protection since John Edwards."

-- David Letterman, The Late Show

"Meanwhile, in New York, Governor David Paterson has been busy for the last couple of weeks trying to shave off his beard. And he did it... This makes Governor Paterson the first governor to get rid of his beard since former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey filed for divorce back in, I think, '06."

-- Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live

"Hey, you know who's back in town? Eliot Spitzer. Former governor of New York Eliot Spitzer is back in town, and he's going to run for governor again. He says he wants to spend less time with his family... Do you remember Governor Eliot Spitzer, the guy who pioneered the 'Cash for Hookers' program?"

-- David Letterman, The Late Show

"I read today that former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer is considering running for the Senate. In fact he's already holding fundraisers: $500 for the full hour and $300 for a half hour."

-- Jimmy Fallon, Late Night

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